Delusions of a Housewife


I could balance a spreadsheet….

 if I wanted to,

I’ve mastered how to plan five dinners

On exactly ten bucks;

I can get a stain out of white anything

And remove the mildew stench

From the laundry load, had I not been consumed by this fabulous book my incisors are buried deep into-

what? you haven’t a new pair, that isn’t limp and shaped like you are still in them?

I can etch my lashes black

And shade my eyes to really pop like I’m a vixen

If I wanted to wear the expensive underwear I could

and I could be inspired to show you what I’ve mastered You don’t even know….I can twirl one pasty at a time!

Don’t think I don’t know how lucky

It is that I look best in jeans

And my hair suits my face best pulled back

And my real beauty shines best

 in a plain rag-thin t-shirt

with a black bra underneath.

I invite you to fetch some ketchup

From my fridge…. You’ll notice,

It’s so clean you could lick it…

And even if you dared to ask what I did all day,

I wouldn’t let on….. my daydreams

 are too racy for dinner talk,

and my poetry… to deep for you to understand