New Years resolutions drizzled in Cliche’

1.  Do not put the horse before the cart and don’t worry if the horse is ugly or not

2. Always see the forest for the trees and take time to distinguish the smell of pine from cedar and spruce

3. You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose but if you’re sitting around while picking either, you’re wasting valuable time!

4. Live simply that others may simply live…..and by LIVE, I mean, book it, record it, frame it, publish it, procure it and stop wondering when you’ll do it and do it already!

5. Some buy art and others by clothes and perhaps it’s time to get creative and make art in your closet where no one can find you?

6. When it rains it pours and it’s time to stop complaining about damp toes and get the proper footwear for the weather!

7.  You must be a friend to have a friend and with that, there is no time in this life to maintain friendships out of pity!

8.  If you cannot beat them join them, but if you repeatedly find it conflicts with your schedule perhaps you aren’t meant to join  them?

9. Real life is just as crazy as on T.V. and if you don’t find this to be true you are spending too much time at home with your nose in a book?

10.Silence is golden with the exception of the dismal tally sheet of how many times you’ve made love with your spouse this month?

Obama’s Coming!

On occasion, I find myself driving wide-eyed in curiosity through those homes in Medina, staring through the metal gates and precision manicured bushes and the doors with exquisite fixtures even door hardware that makes you gape in awe and wonder, wondering, what is it that they do, that makes them so much money; new money, innovation, brilliant DNA, that granted them a trust fund early. Which brings me to today’s daydream. We housewives that tend to our kids, with playdates and organic milk and cookies often have these and they can be quite grandiose when we haven’t talked to a grown up in a while.
Here’s to today’s delusions of grandeur……Obama is in town, headed I am sure to Leschi, or Madrona not even Windermere place in Sand Point-it’s not luxuriously fit for the Michelle’s hubby, Barack. Today, despite our dismal lack of sunshine and sprinkles of rain, despite the traffic problems of the normal highway closures, Obama is in town to dine with the special interests of the political elite.
This is where the delusions come in. I think to myself, who gets to host him? Who gets invited? Who has $25,0000 a plate and what on earth are they serving, black garlic on gluten free toasts and King Salmon fished from the very waters of the house it’s perched on…perhaps just moments before his limo pulls up? He is to be dining at Ex CEO of Costco, Fill name in here-but times, plans, specifics, the route he’ll travel are, of course, extremely confidential. Seattle has its share of lunatics- surely products of season affect disorder, but a secret, makes it all so much more intriguing, sublime and worth sharing with you all. HEY SEATTLE, OBAMA IS IN TOWN!!!!!
Then, in my daydreams I go through my closet and then I decide….”well I have that one Betsy Johnson dress that could work, and one diamond earring that isn’t lost. Then again it is summer, and Nordstrom downtown could set me up since my dress is so “Fall-Inspired,” the teal velvet and lace, black would be better, or vibrant summer green, and Mac could do my make-up? I am well-mannered enough, and politically well versed in current affairs to hold my own for conversation? I have seen Zero Dark Thirty, Wag the Dog and All the Presidents Men, so I could show up, I just got my nails done the other day…… red which is quite presidential…but then there goes the green dress idea. Black it is. Then, in a blip, as if I have consumed ice cream too fast the real world brings color back to my flesh. I shake my head to rattle myself back to reality, rush to the kitchen to find out what that sound is and alas remember, there is a pot of coffee brewing, and so far, my kids haven’t found me for at least fifteen minutes!
For just a few more seconds, I will continue my sweet yearning for big pastures of greatness, let the hopeful flame burn just a wee bit longer. Just me, hiding out, me, YOU, the lap top, and me, giddy with daydreams, like a movie….look who’s coming to dinner, hmm pun not intended? The sun is setting, or not cause it rained. “Please find your assigned seat Barack, Michelle, Bill or Melinda, perhaps Jeff Bezos, Mr. Schultz, Mr. Coscto stockholder, and Me Lisa Behrens,” cause, really I am plenty smart enough, cultured, I know what fragrances are in, and what hostess gift to bring Mr. EX Costco’s wife, something teal with those cactusy plants, you know the ones…..Tis true-not a daydream anymore! I am equipped to answer any question they throw at me. Between CNN, nightly news the Seattle times and My Vanity Fair..oh and Money Magazine, I keep current on these things, “totally prepared….”I’m sorry again what is it you do Miss Behrens? “ “I am a venture capitalist, my venture- my kids, my capitol whatever they turn out from my expert parenting, after investing swim, lessons, piano, guitar, foreign films…the list goes on; The private teachings of all I have to offer in modeling the walk and talk of success to my kids, even if it is just a dramatization?

Wordless Confession

               Wordless Confession

Rotund, blossoms like chestnut halves

Burst forth from her khaki short-shorts, even the squirrels

Would be alarmed, and at her age?

Tight buns peek like perfectly browned morning muffins awaiting butter….

True they are worthy of attention-agreed. 

But let us not steal the light of the newborn, the first meeting of Jesus,

 As he filters moral goodness

Down upon the mid morning darkness of the church.

Light filters through the chapel as tenderly as the waters of blessed salvation

 sprinkle down upon newborn skin

Like an answer to a lingering question.

Hope and eternal redemption are hand in hand with baptism

Bronzed cheeks are hand in hand with string bikinis on a poolside cabana.

How does one compete with a wordless confession

as blatant as this?  

Perhaps she does not know how to pray?