Uniforms are Every Girl’s Weakness
I know you thought I said unicorns, but that fixation fades along with lavender and, plush animals and pop rocks.
Uniformed men stir bigger dreams than the magical things that collect dust on a little girls’ shelf. Uniforms signify discipline, homogenization, conformity-but in a good way. Packaged, pressed, pristine collected together like chess figures, serious and ready. I recognize the uniforms symbolize for me what is missing, brotherhood (or sisterhood) from modern life.
I had a field trip with my gals to what I call the “Naked Spa,” a Korean day spa. The women strip down to the raw, don robes, matching slippers and shower caps. The shower caps add this generic element of safety. Once the robes are removed the fluffy cloth caps cover the hair, further making look the same like crew cuts on soldiers. Differences soon blend. The blending, and sameness discourages the temptation to judge…..save for some fleshy canvases which call quick attention, by way of tattooes. I am equalized in my “skin only” uniform…But enough about naked women already. Indeed, women are at an advantage at the spa. Men are not. Imagine them at the spa, in groups to relax without creepy thoughts seeping in. If men are in groups they are most likely at a sporting event, still, uniformed, wearing their teams’ jersey, hats and beers perhaps this is their spa day?
People in uniforms are sexy because….insert reason here. Think of a chef in a white apron tending to a flaming pan with speed and strength and coordination, sweat beading his brow. Think of a man stacking oranges in the grocery store not unlike a man in the back yard stacking wood on a crisp Autumn day, with precision and care to detail, in a plasticized hunter green apron with only the muscles in his arms flexing as his manly grasp palms three pieces of fruit at one time. Think of a man in scrubs, the surgical mask framing the icy blue of his eyes and minimizing the chance that you’ll ever look down to judge how sturdy his shoes are, if they are good leather or practical white, thick-soled no-named athletic shoes.
Also worth noting, The uniform is the uniform for the selfless. Workers in uniforms are usually serving the needs of others. Doctors put other lives as their focus for 8 hours plus. Male nurses, put on the risk of stepping into a traditionally woman’s role and looking entirely like men, only more tender, as they flush I.V.s and ask you if they can get you anything. What could be sexier? Furry manly arms contrasted with strength and more compassion? That’ll increase a patients heart rate! Lastly, my personal weakness, Firemen. Long pause here. Is there anything sexier than Firemen at the grocery store? I get goose bumps when I think of them cooking for each other. Cooking; a notoriously woman’s task. Again stepping out of the norm is risk-taking, reckless, sexy! They park the truck and three of them get out and, like school boys scoping for girls at the mall, they shop together. Okay, admittedly, much cooler. Men, shopping together is so out of the norm, it’s sexy. I imagine they cook hearty meals, like big pots of chili and grilled things like fajitas. (I watched a lot of Emergency growing up.) They climb back in their trucks and wait for the opportunity to put all those countless gym-hours to use. Have you ever felt the weight of a fireman’s full garb suit and mask. Those boys are strong and Police officers take note, firefighters don’t park their rig anywhere and eat donuts.
Police officers are cool too, don’t get me wrong. Some die heros, my brother did. The last picture I had of him was him in his uniform, HANDSOME, not sexy. Don’t get me wrong dying in uniform, albeit heroic, valiant and honorable is not sexy. Mama’s please teach your boys to be less valiant and choose life over heroism. There are no dead pansies. Even the pansy in nature, the flower, is very hearty and weathers extreme heat and frost. But men who die in the line of duty leave a heart-ache not unlike watching Romio swallow poison to be with his dead lover. Un-relenting and ever painful. It’s tragic, heroic and so sexy- that it’s not.
Let us not forget the police “force.” As in to be reckoned with…again-it’s the uniform. Watching out for “the man” is a statement in itself. We fear him catching us, but we love to speed anyway. The parody of fearing someone who is watching to protect us from things we fear…..THAT is sexy. You just cannot do a job that puts others first, without taking the “you” out of yourself, letting go of the ego and becoming one of many; a hard worker, dedicated to the job and others. Sexeeeeeey! Obviously. Uniform or not, I do love beautiful people, selfless people those who put others first. People who are gracious also hit a soft chord with me. If you see someone in uniform today, smile your “thank-you” smile their way…..and when they walk away, giggle like a giddy school girl playing quietly in your room with your collection of unicorns.