Yes, Something was off.

It was Sunny and 70 Degrees in Seattle on Election Day 2016.  That should have triggered that things were off.  Many women excitedly accepted the secret pantsuit challenge on Social Media. Yes and well women… agreeing to wear pants suits?……In Seattle that is unnatural-our closets are filled with yoga pants, 100 dollar pairs of jeans and cute sneakers.  A wardrobe that rarely calls for hairspray or heels.    But, to nominate a woman in the highest office in the US?  We’ll do anything.  For the future of wage equality for our young daughters, we’ll do anything!    We didn’t just embrace that we would finally elect a woman,  we happily played the “woman card” saying rich educated men can no longer be in charge of us!   But as much as we said “hell no”   to men being experts on foreign security,  and women being experts on baking pies, the rest of United States didn’t feel that way.

If America looked to the office of a presidency akin to selecting which blind date to pick on they wanted reckless abandonment, not the nice guy.

I know it hurts democrats, it does.   But rest assured, we survived 9-11, we can survive negative leadership.    Our Grandparents survived an America that oppressed blacks, and we just  had two lovely terms that defined our level of  humanity, open, progressive and fine with a kick ass, black president who showed not only is he good at basketball, he is good at promoting peace and promoting affordable living while reminding us how desperate we are to avoid battle and how eloquent a black man in the highest office can be when graced with speaking to our nation.     What we stand for is indeed change and that is apparent no matter your party affiliation.  Americans have that in common-They want change for the better. Although with it they have espoused that Money is more important than even good manners!?    That men are indeed viewed as more powerful than women.

Americans are complacent, uninspired and ready for a revolt.  They want spirited politics and loud change.  They need conflict because conflict demands change, it doesn’t ask politely.   Americans want to rip the Band aid off and they want a Band Aid that they can afford.  They don’t want you to judge how they pay for it either or whether they sell guns for a living or build buildings with Chinese steal they just want to feel they are getting ahead.  They want to be ahead and they don’t want to be asked how they got there.  They want to feel like someone is boss of them again.  They want someone who is rich and powerful –even if their banter is as shockingly powerful as Hitler’s was, they want a loud leader and they seem  desperate to be led?       Americans aren’t convinced this is really the land of the free and the home of the brave?    Americans don’t feel brave and don’t feel like they are being told the truth.       They want to believe Edward Snowden is a hero for going against his government and for finally convincing them to start demanding the truth?

There is one prevailing feeling in America right now, fear.   They fear going to the airport, they fear going to school, they fear going to church, they fear being gay they fear being deported, they fear never affording a home.  They are angry and not feeling patriotic.         What this means is fire the cannons.     And the Republicans just did.  They are yelling-Stir the politics.    No one wants to simmer any longer.    What it means to American Democrats?   It’s no time to wallow in defeat, but rather it is time to fight harder.    Don’t read about it, volunteer for it.   Don’t donate to the Veteran’s services, go to work for them.  Don’t speak on the behalf of mental illness, gun violence, doing away with the electorate, in favor of the popular vote, get all your democratic alliances together in your very community to write a bill to make these issues top priority.      Be inspired locally and keep your democratic roots deep.

We are growing our kind of America too slowly.  We need to grow it with our actions.  IF this were a garden, we can’t plant Annuals, cause they are pretty, we must plant Perennials cause they will come back year to year.   Change and equality is a common goal.  Embrace it no matter your political affiliations.

Being Catholic


We Hailed Cesar,

We hailed Mary and Grace,

We hailed the priest behind the curtain,

Even without seeing his face.

We hailed the pope

Who invited us to Pray;

Even after he found out

We were openly gay.

We hailed the heavens

When the torrential storm blew in,

We nearly hailed Bill Clinton

Despite his “Sexy Sin”

We crossed ourselves when weak at the knees,

We crossed ourselves in the desert

And from nowhere, felt a breeze

But if there is to be hope,

We must hail our supreme power,

“God,” heal the worlds bitter, violent souls

Who turn our sweet world  sour.



IF I knew you liked Pie?

About to do a follow up. Watch for it this week!


Had you stayed in my life…..I may have not been me.  I may not have loved that boyfriend-that skater boy-the way I did.   My psyche may have preferred quiet of introspection.   I might  enjoy aligning my books in the shelf by color and size?   I may not enjoy recklessly slamming doors and speeding in my car, when I should go slow?      I may not have doted on my lover the one I loved-like no one  should love someone; with every coursing corpuscle and every molecule of oxygen in my hemoglobin…….diminished to a heap of blonde hair and blue jeans, lifeless on his porch when it was over- just  tears keeping me warm.

Had you stayed,   I may have never have reacted as I did-when a man  professed I was somebody; worthy and love-able.     I may have very well understood love differently?    Perhaps it…

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The Human Landscape

Rumbling, the earth trembling;

melding my feet to it,

molten heat;

All the world’s passion

In one room, in one body,

Still shaaaakiiiing;

Morphing one previously childlike mind.

That which liquefies metal

Isn’t hot,

it’s beyond thermal capacity-

St. Helen’s simply sneezed;

During puberty.

There were warnings,

Don’t act so blinded by ash,

Littering just within reach of the magma cone,

Ash like grey snow flakes

if not ash it would be serene….quiet,

A first snowfall.   But hard to breathe.

A once creamy epidermis,

Mottling the surrounds,

Emotions popping up, visibly on the surface

Panicked, parents scramble,

….. Should we connect the dots or make them go away?

Molten lava, fall out, run, don’t gather;

just run.

Childhood was yesterday.

The eruption of adulthood

Is supposed to clear away

Everything in its path?



There is so much more (for Kirsten)

I know you see,

There is so much more

Than the disarray

of my messy floor….

I know you see

I fidget, I fumble;

Lick my wild bang, smooth

As I approach, I stumble….

Still licking it down with the paste of my slobber

My house looks ransacked “untamed” I giggle

“Did you see the Robber?”

As if an untamed curl should evoke such scandal

Can you see there’s more, hope pleads

As I trip on my sandal.

Lines… fresh imprints from my still warm sheets

“Guten Morgen!” I blurt…in a sleepy mumble

Least my toes are polished…I look down at my feet

I’m sorry I didn’t get your early morning tweet?

I shake my head to clear the sleep

My dreams still fresh, ripe with defeat,

But I know you see

That there’ s some much more

And still somehow….

I’m glad,

you’re  at my door

It Ain’t Going Anywhere

You know which path,

You know what Y means,

Go it boldly or don’t go,

Eyes open, head high,

Listening, yes distracted, by the soundtrack-the one that plays in your head,

If you’d Knelt down and whispered in your ear,

yes, you’re own ear,

And once again a little louder,

-you’d have said, “you know better”

Standing next to the Speaker, wearing that hat, having that drink,

A sweaty mosh pit reminded you…..

“You are alive.”

I tell him “Son, ear plugs are cool,”

but don’t stand by the speakers, never;

Knowing his brain cannot jump forward in time.

Mesmerized by the drums, pulsing to a whining guitar,

Always Feeling so much more than the auditory nerves can soak up…..

Angry vocals, raw but playful,

Coming together like sugar and cream;

Nothing store bought could compare…….

honesty is meeting a stranger’s gaze,

Courage is not staving off the awkward moment

but relishing it’s teachings.

Beauty is scraping your broken self from the rubber of your shoe,

Feeling defeated but smarter.

Why did I once wince at the imperfections?

…the humiliation, unrelenting palpitations of hurt,

Handcuffs, eyes swollen from tears, defeat.

Embrace it like you did when you saw your first drag queen,

It’s heart is beating, it is truth and it ain’t going anywhere without you.


Only She Knows

The laundry needs a whirl, The epidermis some exfoliating; That nest of greasy hair…. Could use a tousle with a brush. The whole of her calls desperately For an abundant frolic with some soap, ……or an improvisational meditation, A kneel down; a shout out for hope. No one else can see her illness, No one […]

The Rogue Wave

It’s “just a beverage;”
you tell me;
Something wet,

that quenches,
enlivens your insides,
refreshes wholly
with  newness;
a tactile sensation,
an unexpected pleasant 360′ of emotion,
the flirtation of an ocean wave,
like a smile from across the room,
for you it’s real
for me
it’s not that same wave.
When it soaks you- you run to shore,
When it soaks me, I run in,
that unexpected wave,
I’m the child again,

it’s my first time at the beach
a welcome surprise, my first

rogue wave,
a cool reset on a sweltering day
you’ve tasted it’s salty rim
I hadn’t known I wasn’t alive?
I stood, my soul dripping
what it could not hold,
what it could not quench,
revealing the many tiny holes,
like a sieve it drains slowly at my feet
I am still thirsty same as you.