Facebook is fun, juggling flames is “fun” too. I tried to duck out for a while-but I felt clueless. Facebook keeps you feeling as if you’ve been served a slice of the world. Yes it’s a wee bit voyeuristic and admittedly some of us have HAD to take a break, we addictive personalities should keep it in check. There are ways to use it properly. We should be spot-on with our editing, checking it as seriously and as closely as we check the mirror after we’ve eaten spinach salad, sometimes we do miss it the first time. Facebook can be a bit like an odor when it’s bad it can linger and when it’s good it can stir the olfactory senses. A picture posted can be powerful, you can plan next year’s vacation based on them or, dig up your old yearbooks because of them-Take Throwback Thursday for instance. It can take you back to moments like your first kiss at Skate King or rekindle that memory of an entire summer spent with that dreamy hippie boy/girl. A simple post, a few words can impart the smell of Nag Champa, Drakar Noir, salty sea air, or stale beer, which trips up another memory….that one club, do you or don’t you search his name, the guy in the band, to see if he “Facebooks.” Do you peek, just to see if he aged well….or do you just search Youtube for that band that ALWAYS played there, you know that surf band that you loved, what was it, Man or Astro Man…. who was it?
Facebook can trip up memories, it can invite self-affirming discussions or it can create a divide as blatant as a childish game of Red Rover, showing favoritism or weak spots. Frankly, It’s exciting to flesh out “forbidden topics” like “how do gay men really feel about having bachelorette parties and their “near” brides doing shots of Yeager at “THEIR” neighborhood gay bar?” It calls things out into the discussion arena like a bull and a man in tight pants. It’s open season, sometimes there are boastful antics which raise eyebrows, “how dare she post that bikini shot-who does she think she is!” “At least you can tell she hasn’t had her boobs done, how dreadful…….” “Perhaps no one ever takes her picture, she was lucky to have even just that one of her for her profile-maybe she is always the one behind the camera?” Perception is a personal and powerful thing. One person may say “Fucking well-Good for her, for liking herself, for having a moment on her lawn chair and in a bikini at 40!” Another may be stirred to madness. I don’t KNOW who will interpret a simple profile picture, a meaningless summer shot in my lounge chair- yes in my bikini as showing off-some will be seething with jealousy that I was at a swanky hotel pool or it will stir their own sensitivities, “shit, I have never owned a bikini….” or worse- I mean, I cannot possibly KNOW who on Facebook has an eating disorder? In 2015 you have to be so darned CAREFUL….like apologies are so 1999, or something. I have my own baggage to weigh me down. I feel offended when people post fucking cocktail pictures!…..but I quietly try and reconcile how lucky they are, that it still works for them, that they can still socialize and drink without consuming too many, without having a visit from Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde in the duration of one Happy Hour? Yes, Facebook invites conflict like trivial pursuit invites answers. In this highly monitored Facebook life, we must’nt develop new neurosis over it. Just like real life, we must practice balance, be weary of reinterpretation, be oh so careful not interpret things toooooo seriously, keep it light and entertaining, and remember, while one person’s amusement is a good book, anothers’ is streaking? So-think of it like mudswrestling, join in, cheer them on, but don’t sit so close, you get spattered with mud. It is, what it is