Cats and Husbands


Kitty meows incessantly

“What do you want Lolli?”

She follows me around the house,

She wants to tell me something.

A mishmash, of perfectly molded

kitty pate’ awaits her, untouched,

The smell still on my fingers,

I let her out, she lulls about,

Her sad, desperate yellow eyes

Prominent, moody;

Like Elvis painted on black velvet,

She peers  through the door’s side glass,

All eyes against black fur,

I just watched her furry buns pad off,

Crooked black tail tickling cold air,

She’s at the door- wanting in

I know not what she begs of,

A little brown regurgitation

A mix of things she shouldn’t have eaten

Clues me in,

Reminds me of early marriage,

When my husband tried to tell me

What upset him,

But couldn’t find the words……..


New Years resolutions drizzled in Cliche’

1.  Do not put the horse before the cart and don’t worry if the horse is ugly or not

2. Always see the forest for the trees and take time to distinguish the smell of pine from cedar and spruce

3. You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose but if you’re sitting around while picking either, you’re wasting valuable time!

4. Live simply that others may simply live…..and by LIVE, I mean, book it, record it, frame it, publish it, procure it and stop wondering when you’ll do it and do it already!

5. Some buy art and others by clothes and perhaps it’s time to get creative and make art in your closet where no one can find you?

6. When it rains it pours and it’s time to stop complaining about damp toes and get the proper footwear for the weather!

7.  You must be a friend to have a friend and with that, there is no time in this life to maintain friendships out of pity!

8.  If you cannot beat them join them, but if you repeatedly find it conflicts with your schedule perhaps you aren’t meant to join  them?

9. Real life is just as crazy as on T.V. and if you don’t find this to be true you are spending too much time at home with your nose in a book?

10.Silence is golden with the exception of the dismal tally sheet of how many times you’ve made love with your spouse this month?

Aging, it’s all how you tweak it

How do you tell the difference between a happy middle aged woman and one who feels used up and left for dead?

  1.  Her calendar has gone from cocktail outings to waxing appointments
  2. She wears an infinity scarf not just cause it will stay put-but to remind her of her longevity
  3. She is not afraid to announce her best friend second to her husband is her regular grocery checker who ties for second with her cat/dog
  4. She talks to her boobs
  5. She has phased out jewelry and phased in expensive undergarments
  6. She openly admits how many sex partners she has had
  7. She is proud to announce the rare occasion she used the recipe from the box
  8. She buys flowers for herself at least once a month completely devoid of any hidden messages to her husband
  9. She works out so she will feel good rather than look good
  10. She sees age-discrimination in the workplace as an opportunity; a second chapter, “how to turn your hobby into cash flow?”

Skin’s Truths

Hands outstretched…a little further, a little more,

My Touch means less and less,

As it’s unmet by more than air.

The speckled valley of age tarnishes perfection,

Dots my hands like brown islands

Each one an unspoken story;

Deep grooves mark my every laugh,

Fault lines of life’s quakes, sun peaks,

Winds of struggle,

If I hold very still, and want-

With all my might….want bad enough,

With every nerve ending and pore, neuron and muscle,

With the symmetry of the choirs last note,

Will you hear my truth?

Feel the wear on my jacket,

The shell, that is barely impervious to all elements?

The one that tells my every truth,

Even those my mouth keeps silent?

Why would I inject poison into me to fight truth?

To stop the truth, is to stop the wonder

That lingers

At the heels of questions

unasked? must be St. Nick?

Who is this man….

his beard so thick,

Placing a treasure in my palm

sweet hopes, a peppermint to lick.

Who is this man soliciting joy?

promising peace on earth,

or perhaps a toy?

Who is this man….?

Who threw coins to the poor;

In a red velvet snow-trimmed suit,

Preferring chimney to door?

Who is this man?

bringing the song of elves and trains,

In a wink he summons snowflakes,

holds back the reins,

Who is this man….

teases the darkness to fade,

…..finds the long lost child inside,

And asks for nothing in trade?

Santa, Seattle Needs you!

Dear Santa:

I am dreadfully worried no one will save Christmas in Seattle this year.

It just feels, well you know, different this year. The rains have come and there just aren’t enough long socks and Hunter boots from Nordy’s to really insulate myself from the egos this year. People are cutting in line and driving like Jesus was never born Santa!  I’ve tried standing under the Mistletoe blowing kisses and bear hugging myself…..nothing…. I’ve tried stomping in puddles, like I do most years and the joy just doesn’t spatter up on my jeans like it used to. In fact, the puddles are murkier than ever -I cannot see my reflection. I hear sirens, not jingle bells and the malls are playing Kenny G’s Christmas’ I nearly choked on my gingerbread, really Santa, Smooth Jazz Christmas everywhere!

Oh and the weather, Frightful!   I went outside to hang my wreath on my door, I could easily walk outside in my underwear with nary a goose bump Santa…..It’s too warm for Christmas!   I’ve tried the usual fixes, listening to, “DO they know it’s Christmas time on my record player, singing Rockin’ around the Christmas tree in my best Rosemary Clooney voice, I belted out the Kinks Father Christmas loud enough to get sneered at, someone even told me Go back to Chicago!  BTW last year you forgot my Karaoke Machine.

Santa, I just need a little more spirit this year and I don’t mean the craft distilled vodka people seem to be into.   I just need your cheeks to be a little rosier, your smile to sparkle and greet mine, the clerks don’t even smile back…..Can you also leave a path of soot for me to write my name in and could you just eat the whole plate of cookies and not just drink the milk this year, I mean I use organic butter?   Santa I wish Toy boats would cut it but with Ebola all all, I kinda want a Microscope, and a T-shirt that says “just breathe” we are beyond silly putty. One thing I just have to remind you, as you know I told one of your clones in the mall, it would mean a lot to me If you could make sure no one gets toy guns…. with the red cap or not. Santa, ban them. It’s time, even cap guns and you know how I loved those, just ban them all, water pistils, BB guns. Just ban them this year in honor of lives lost locally, just ban them next year too.  Oh and before I get to baking……could you splurge on the really good REAL peppermint Candy Canes, just saying…..peppermint is so soothing, which reminds me,  your chubby little belly that jiggles when you laugh, yeah, you can even wake me this year, just so I can have a peek at it!  And do that hairy bagel thing you do…..I could use a good laugh-It’s that bad this year Santa. You are needed more than ever.   Thank you Santa for being real, Seattle people could learn a thing or two. I know you understand…….and you already know all this, after all- you ARE magic.

P.S. I am leaving Bourbon Balls, do not feed them to the Reindeer, if you know what I mean.

Merry, Christmas Santa