Obama’s Coming!

On occasion, I find myself driving wide-eyed in curiosity through those homes in Medina, staring through the metal gates and precision manicured bushes and the doors with exquisite fixtures even door hardware that makes you gape in awe and wonder, wondering, what is it that they do, that makes them so much money; new money, innovation, brilliant DNA, that granted them a trust fund early. Which brings me to today’s daydream. We housewives that tend to our kids, with playdates and organic milk and cookies often have these and they can be quite grandiose when we haven’t talked to a grown up in a while.
Here’s to today’s delusions of grandeur……Obama is in town, headed I am sure to Leschi, or Madrona not even Windermere place in Sand Point-it’s not luxuriously fit for the Michelle’s hubby, Barack. Today, despite our dismal lack if sunshine and sprinkles of rain, despite the traffic problems of the normal highway closures, Obama is in town to dine with the special interests of the political elite.
This is where the delusions come in. I think to myself, who gets to host him? Who gets invited? Who has $25,0000 a plate and what on earth are they serving, black garlic on gluten free toasts and King Salmon fished from the very waters of the house it’s perched on…perhaps just moments before his limo pulls up? He is to be dining at Ex CEO of Costco, Fill name in here-but times, plans, specifics, the route he’ll travel are, of course, extremely confidential. Seattle has its share of lunatics- surely products of season affect disorder, but a secret, makes it all so much more intriguing, sublime and worth sharing with you all. HEY SEATTLE, OBAMA IS IN TOWN!!!!!
Then, in my daydreams I go through my closet and then I decide….”well I have that one Betsy Johnson dress that could work, and one diamond earring that isn’t lost. Then again it is summer, and Nordstrom downtown could set me up since my dress is so “Fall-Inspired,” the teal velvet and lace, black would be better, or vibrant summer green, and Mac could do my make-up? I am well-mannered enough, and politically well versed in current affairs to hold my own for conversation? I have seen Zero Dark Thirty, Wag the Dog and All the Presidents Men, so I could show up, I just got my nails done the other day…… red which is quite presidential…but then there goes the green dress idea. Black it is. Then, in a blip, as if I have consumed ice cream too fast the real world brings color back to my flesh. I shake my head to rattle myself back to reality, rush to the kitchen to find out what that sound is and alas remember, there is a pot of coffee brewing, and so far, my kids haven’t found me for at least fifteen minutes!
For just a few more seconds, I will continue my sweet yearning for big pastures of greatness, let the hopeful flame burn just a wee bit longer. Just me, hiding out, me, YOU, the lap top, and me, giddy with daydreams, like a movie….look who’s coming to dinner, hmm pun not intended? The sun is setting, or not cause it rained. “Please find your assigned seat Barack, Michelle, Bill or Melinda, perhaps Jeff Bezos, Mr. Schultz, Mr. Coscto stockholder, and Me Lisa Behrens,” cause, really I am plenty smart enough, cultured, I know what fragrances are in, and what hostess gift to bring Mr. EX Costco’s wife, something teal with those cactusy plants, you know the ones…..Tis true-not a daydream anymore! I am equipped to answer any question they throw at me. Between CNN, nightly news the Seattle times and My Vanity Fair..oh and Money Magazine, I keep current on these things, “totally prepared….”I’m sorry again what is it you do Miss Behrens? “ “I am a venture capitalist, my venture- my kids, my capitol whatever they turn out from my expert parenting, after investing swim, lessons, piano, guitar, foreign films…the list goes on; The private teachings of all I have to offer in modeling the walk and talk of success to my kids, even if it is just a dramatization?

Obama’s Coming!!!!

On occasion I find myself driving wide-eyed in curiosity through those homes in Medina, staring through the metal gates and precision manicured bushes and the doors with exquisite fixture even door hardware that makes you gape in awe and wonder, what is it that they do, that makes them so much money, new money, innovation, brilliant DNA that granted them a trustfund early. Which brings me to today daydream. We housewives that tend to our kids, with playdates and organic milk and cookies for our kids often have these and they can be quiet grandiose when we haven’t talked to a grown up in a while.
Here’s to today delusion of grandeur……Obama is in town, headed I am sure to Leschi, or Madrona not even Windermere place in Sand Point is not luxuriously fit for the Michelle’s hubby, Barack. Today, despite our dismal lack if sunshine and sprinkles of rain, despite the traffic problems of the normal highway closure, Obama is in town to dine with the special interests of the political elite.
This is where the delusions come in. I think to myself, who gets to host him. Who gets invited? Who has $25,0000 a plate and what on earth are they serving, black garlic on gluten free toasts and King Salmon fished from the very waters the house it’s perched on…perhaps just moments before his limo pulls up? He is to be dining at Ex CEO of Costco, Fill name in here-but times, plans, specifics, the route he’ll travel are, of course, extremely confidential. Seattle has it’s share of lunatics- surely affected by season affect disorder, but a secret, makes it all so much more intriguing, sublime and worth sharing with you all. HEY EVERYBODY IN SEATTLE OBAMA IS IN TOWN!!!!!
Then, in my daydreams I go through my closet and then I decide….”well I have that one Betsy Johnson dress that could work, and one diamond earring that isn’t lost. Then again it is summer, and Nordstrom downtown could set me up since my dress is so fall, the teal velvet and lace, black would be better, or vibrant summer green, and Mac could do my make-up, and I am well-mannered enough, and politically well versed in current affairs to hold my own for conversation? I have seen Zero Dark Thirty, Wag the Dog and All the Presidents men, so I could show up, I just got my nails done the other day……their red which is quite presidential…but then their goes the green dress idea. Black it is. Tthen, in a blip, as if I have consumed ice cream too fast the real world brings color back to my flesh. I shake my head to rattle myself back to reality, rush to the kitchen to find out what that sound is and alas remember, there is a pot of coffee brewing, and so far, my kids haven’t found me for at least fifteen minutes!
For just a few more seconds, I will continue my sweet yearning for big pastures of greatness, let the hopeful flame burn just a wee bit longer. Just me, hiding out, me, YOU, the lap top, and me, giddy with daydreams, like a movie….look whose coming to dinner, hmm pun not intended? “Please find your assigned seat Barack, Michelle, Bill or Melinda, perhaps Jeff Bezos, Mr. Schultz, Mr. Coscto stockholder, and Me Lisa Behrens,” cause, really I am plenty smart enough, cultured, I know what fragrances are in, and what hostess gift to bring Mr. EX Costco’s wife, something teal with those cactusy plants, you know the ones…..Tis true-not a daydream I am equipped to answer any question they throw at me. Between CNN, nightly news the Seattle times and My Vanity Fair..oh and Money Magazine, I keep current on these things, “totally prepared….”I;m sorry again what is it you do Miss Behrens? “ “I am a venture capitalist, my venture- my kids, my capitol whatever they turn out from my expert parenting, after investing swim, lessons, piano, guitar, foreign films, etc, The private teachings of all I have to offer in modeling, the walk and talk of success to my kids, even if it is just a dramatization?

Aging, the wonderous Carmelization of Self

Aging, the Wonderous Carmelization of self

Let it be known, it’s natural to ponder life, tick, tick ticking away as your first walks, drives a car, gets married. Life unravels before you like it or not. It’s meaning, its’ call, it’s message, all of which can be found in any number of songs, from the Eagles, to Aretha to Merle Haggard, it’s there if you need a reminder. Year upon year, as the sands…..okay-I won’t go there……as we accrue another year, as if it were a freckle, we cannot turn away from those lessons, those hidden gifts, they’re everywhere.
People, myself included, often gravitate towards the section of the newspaper, the brief quick synopsis of peoples’ lives, the obituaries. Seems morbid yes? I find it honest, the topic of life, calls death on the carpet in contrast. Perhaps we read the obits to feel as though our lives are in good measure; keeping in stride with at least the average person’s story. If for nothing more than ticking off our list-what five Who, What Where When Why’s of your life would be of mention if today was your last day on earth? Do you fall short, and if so, is today the day you get busy fluffing up your story, putting the finishing touches on what defines you?
For many, we find being a parent, a graduate, a stable, conforming, law abiding, home owning member of society perhaps too insignificant to feel successful. Today, I encourage you to dream a little. To google that idea you’ve been sitting on. Is there a patent on your invention? Just maybe, it is brilliant or innovative or original or soooo good someone did it already. That’s validation. You know that project you don’t have the money to do? You know that plane ticket you don’t have the money to purchase- make it happen? Go find it, sell your art, sell your table, refurbish old shit and double the price, make your prized cracker recipe (my neighbor has a huge newly built house for this exact reason!) don’t whine about never having been there, find a way, and GET there! Polish up your obituary before you must, hurry to volunteer and shine up your unattained goals! Make it happen. I for one want to be moved, inspired; relieved by your good ending…. if in fact-God willing, you end up in the Obituary section of tomorrow’s paper!

Garbage Day

So, So, Soo many summer items
come in a box,
slip n slides, fans, raspberries
chlorine defense shampoo,
coconut scented products,
to tame
yer locks,
and protect your doo,
cupcake holders, to go boxes

corndogs, pizza, &; bunny Mac
flashlights bolted,
in anti-theft box
freeing them?
You -the package,
Redfaced, bereft, plasticine, cardboard, a lost hour,
Attack!
My recycle bin tells the tale
of a month of summer past
If you’ve bought
bottled water,
this is where the lecture will begin”
you may want to start
looking for a new earth
to galavant, this time
innovatively, not wastefully
perhaps, free?
of “garbage Sin?”

Outfitted for Life

Proper footwear is to people
what claws are to a cat;
that which enables your grip on life;
naturally- on the hunt,
we flex, we dig,
our eyes become wide,
like vampires under the moonlight
our feral side revealed,
A scenic stretch of beach
laden with barnacles
can slice ribbons of bloody flesh
on tender feet,
always wear the right shoes
for today’s travels

Lonliness is meant to be…….

Loneliness is, movingly powerful in a way that stifles you to inaction…because your heart feels trampled by life or lack of the life you thought you would have at present. What’s oddly settling, even poetic about lonliness is it spurs action.. Like BO on a hot day…all that is toxic pours out of you- like too much caffeine from your pits on a 90 degree day, in essence it calls attention to itself. Today admit the moment you feel secure as sure as you admit that perhaps now on a Friday with no plans on the horizon….you feel a bit lonesome?
Grab hold of what you love and nurture it like you do a baby….it can be a rock in your garden or a favorite book-just admire it and love it for a moment. Just don’t give in like the new moms sucked into postpartum paralysis. Answer the call, bake REAL butter cookies and hand them out to neighbors just because. Go dance if you feel the need, sing out loud, go back to the grave and cry…..Whether it’s Jimmie Hendrix, or your brother,…oh wait a minute-this is about you-not me, cause I for one am NOT feeling a sense of loss or friendship, cause, you’re here with me-right? right?…..it’s soo quiet. I know you feel me…. okay agreed, let’s both make a gourmet dinner and light candles and put on something fabulous tonight. It’s okay if it’s just a fragrance or a ruffled tux or a fifties style dress, don’t go rent a tuxedo or anything, even though I would LOVE that! Do wear the reddist lipstick you can find, the color of the fire of loneliness, do it for us-and no one else. Also, I am looking you in the eye with serious green eyes right now-promise me, to smile when you plate up tasty treats for us. Or your husband, your wife, your dog. and maybe you’re neighbor the one you don’t know even though you have lived their for ten years, they may want to join you? Don’t cry unless they are real tears; tears of joy or tears cause you are still thinking about that Roger Ebert film “Life Itself.” Just for me, today, and to face loneliness dead on- have a quiet moment to honor real shit, like loneliness-or our blogging life, an how it isn’t fake, it makes us know we are all connected-that all is good in our big world. Honor that, I feel like we’re friends,the blip of recognition should rise up into like blood after you’ve been upside down and sit up again. The hole where the lonely place started….. will feel smaller today and you will feel just that much bigger!

Bursting at the seams or bursting….it seems?

it’s summer so as usual I don’t sign the kids up for camps cause, I’m a rebel…cheapskate, masochist? Oh well, they’re stuck with me. I want them to grab hold of the spontaneous whims that surge forth in their pea sized idea-filled, adolescent brains- answer the call that childhood summers afford them. Nothing makes me happier than when they pick up a pocket knife and whittle a stick, learn to bake a pie, like those fifties moms who raised us; sew on a button, box their sibling until the’re bloody, you know, recreate my own childhood without the absent father and the chain smoking household. I mean let’s be honest, PG-13 when we were kids had boobs and all, but kids today in regards to everything un-sex related, will be cluelessly boring.

My tender moment this summer, despite my anti-gun rants, was actually my son and his buddy-packing their pellet guns in their guitar cases, heading for the creek to terrify squirrels in the name of boyhood fun. I didn’t even yell “watch out for that ONE house where they sell heroin… or the other one where those dudes are prostituting teen girls, I just said, “have fun bring, your cell phone!” I savor moments like I enjoyed, unmonitored, treated like furniture, to be seen and not heard, but damn we have character today. We shot Bee bee guns on the pond, had secret excursions with the weird red haired kid that lived next door, desperately trying to peek at my girl parts yes cause they didn’t already know everything from twerking to full screen every day overtly sexual EVERYTHING from cereal to sports to Disney channel, they needed to get a peek back then. I knew very well back when where there were boys and there were girls…there was some mystery- or was he a harmless perve. At least back then, you could tell the difference. In the overly sexualized, sex craved media world we live in today it’s a toss up whose a perve or a swinger or just keeping up with the times?
Anyway…. and I had to get home for Three’s company so the next door kid needn’t worry if I googled to inquire his predator status today. I was unworried-or too into my Shirley Temple movies practicing my tap dancing behind closed doors….rather than practicing humping the air or doing the pussy dip they do now.
This summer I have even heard my kids sing!…a complete song, separate from songs on the radio-they have time to sit and wonder, what it feels like to be bored, to have to think up an activity without my help, to sit under the shade of their back yard tree and hear what their own voice sounds like. And I don’t mean to be preachy, but it felt good.
What I seem to forget about factoring in is- me. How they come find me in the quiet moments writing on my blog, and tell me how “selfish” I am, “always on the computer!” Ever wondered why my drafts are so first draft, unedited, on the fly, hurried? yeah they find me. And then I say sweetly, “this is important” which fails miserably every time.
Seattle is a lonely place for us grown ups. I will tell you flat out, at the age where kids are able to talk back and call you “retard,” as mine do, the reality sours when it hits you I had a career that I left. They are it now…. they “are” my hobbies, my preoccupation, and for the Seattle culture that surround me, the uber competitive peers, they are apparently my ticket to wealth and great fame? Why else would they be testing in to fancy schools going from swim team, to lacrosse to Elite soccer in a week’s time? Despite all those pictures of Facebook friends cheersing to their happy gathering of middle aged parents, all cocktails and smiles and kid-less for an hour….. our kids and spouses are the greatest most pure source of entertainment we have, because-quite frankly-not only do they really, deeply, intimately KNOW us, they are available.
Remember parents at home this summer- it is perfectly okay to ask your spouse to plan a day off next week and take some time to drive outside of your 15 mile stomping ground and get crazy. Explore China town in the next large City take a drive by yourself and see if you enjoy classical music or loud old school rap songs when you’re alone. Call a friend and tell them you have a special all day procedure and that the pain meds won’t wear off for days and leave them for 24 hours so you can sit and watch chick flicks in your bra or boxers if you so crave it…..even order a pizza-just like you did when you were twenty. Grab a bottle of Synergy, instead of that Merlot, and crank up the Billie Holiday or Nina Simone….or if you are inclined drink three glasses and forget about this article entirely, just see if you indeed can act your age, and stop at the third glass, like those well behaved peers of yours, fourth glass…yeah-the bottles end, yeah, I drink tea now.
What I’m suggesting is for God’s sake, just cause your bestest friends have relocated to China and Texas, again…. don’t stop living life. Make a new friend, the kind you can sit with for hours with no words spoken, even if that person is you. Enjoy life, after all it’s just a big summer camp, with early rises, and a serious need to reinvent what moves you-like teaching your kids the value of simply enjoying each day-exactly where you are and who you are with.